Dear Ellen,
So… I wasn’t exactly the world’s most responsible teenager. In fact, I was kind of a train wreck.
I totaled my car once. I drank while I was underage. I got into fights. My grades were passable, but not stellar.
Now — after attending college in another city and “growing up,” a lot — I’m living back at home with my parents and trying to kick-start my career.
I majored in Physiology with a minor in Nutrition and I’m also a certified personal trainer. I want to get my fitness training and health coaching business off the ground.
Problem is, my parents — and everybody else around here in my hometown — still perceive me as the irresponsible teenager I used to be, not the adult I am today.
I’m really struggling to change people’s perceptions. It feels like everyone is frozen in the past.
Should I just give up, move to a bigger city where nobody knows me, and start over?
Or is there some “secret” to convincing people that they can trust you?
Signed,
Bad Reputation
Dear BR,
As I see it, there’s no “right” or “wrong” choice here.
Whether you remain in your hometown or move on to a brand new city, you are going to face a big challenge:
Starting from “zero,” building up a following of clients, and establishing a strong reputation as someone who is reliable and excellent at their work.
In your small town, you’ve got an additional challenge: changing old perceptions.
But you’ve also got an additional advantage: a great story!
You can play up the fact that you used to be a reckless teen, but building discipline and focus through fitness changed your life.
Now, look at you! You’re a driven young entrepreneur. Not just another run-of-the-mill personal trainer: you’re a role model for other teens and grown ups, alike.
You are a living example of how getting serious about fitness can transform your whole life, not just your body.
Bottom line? Instead of downplaying your past or trying to make people “forget” about your rocky teen years, I say: do just the opposite. Talk about it. Bring it up. Use your “before + after” storyline to create even more momentum for your new business.
If you’re feeling skeptical that this approach can work, may I remind you about…
Tony Robbins – He’s the most famous motivational speaker in the world, making millions through his “self help” programs. Why? Because he started out as a broke, hopeless janitor and then reinvented his life. People love his “turnaround” story — it’s the main reason why he’s able to connect with audiences so powerfully!
Robert Downey Jr. – He’s one of the most talented and beloved actors of our time, but his rough childhood sent him into a spiral of drug addiction that landed him in jail — and almost ended his life. He fought hard to get sober and reclaim his floundering career. The result? Audiences cheer for him, not just because he’s a terrific performer, but because of what he had to overcome just to survive.
Angelina Jolie – Before she became a filmmaker, humanitarian, and United Nations ambassador, Angie was a pretty twisted sister! Like Downey, she dealt with drug addiction in her youth, had a fondness for the “darker” side of life, and reportedly kept photos of corpses in her home (uh… love you, Ms. Jolie, but that’s super creepy.) Today, she’s profoundly respected. She was the first-ever recipient of the UN “Citizen of the World Award.” (Bill Clinton, another icon who recovered from crushing public scandal, received the same award… 4 years later!)
Just goes to show…
Your “rocky past” story can hinder you — or it can catapult you into success.
It all depends on how you choose to tell it.
Just like Don Draper from Mad Men often says, you can’t let other people gossip and whisper and control the conversation about you. You’ve got to take charge.
You’ve got to “change the conversation.”
Do that, BR, and I have no doubt that you will be successful in your hometown, in a new city, or anywhere you choose to go.
I always love a good “underdog” story and you can bet: I’m rooting for you!
Image: Willie Franklin