How Do I Stop Feeling Stuck?

ASKELLEN

Dear Ellen:

I graduated from college 11 months ago and so far, I have not been able to find a job in my field (I was an English major — and my dream is to work in publishing). I have applied to hundreds of places but so far, nothing has panned out.

I am trying to stay hopeful, but I’ve reached a point where I don’t know what else to do. I spend most of the day in my room, reading updates on Facebook and watching movies on my computer. I am living back home with my parents, and I feel like nothing has changed since I was in high school.

How can I recapture the energy I felt at graduation? Is there anything I can be doing to make better use of my time — and find a paying job?

Please help. It feels like all of my friends are all “grown up,” living in their own apartments, doing cool things in the world, while I’m just … stuck.

Signed,

Defeated in San Diego

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Dear DISD:

I hear your pain and believe me — you are not alone.

Suffering through rejection after rejection is never easy. And feeling disappointed is only human.

When it comes to landing your dream job, there’s no sure-fire road to success.

But I can tell you this:

If you are hearing a lot of “No’s,” it’s not enough to simply keep “applying” and “putting yourself out there.”

You’ve got to put yourself out there — but with a stronger, more impressive package.

Keep repeating the same old moves — the same cover letter, the same resume, the same networking style — and you’re likely to keep getting the same results for another 11 months.

Try out a new angle. And you might finally crack open that door.

So, where should you go from here? I think you know the answer, DISD. It doesn’t take much to see that you need to get off the computer and back out in the world. Help your parents around the house. Go rake some leaves, or shovel some snow. Get the energy moving again!

There are tons of things you can do to get motivated and rebuild your self-esteem — including exercise (take a hike — it’s free!) or taking a low-cost yoga class. You could also volunteer at a local non-profit (check to see if there is a chapter of 826 National in your city). Or, become a tutor at your local high school — you are a college graduate, after all!

Now that you’re out of the house, let’s deal with the problem at hand: finding a job. It’s important to reframe how you think about being “unemployed.” Try to find a new perspective. Most of all: try to find ways to use this time wisely — by building up skills + experiences that will make you more valuable + employable!

First of all, make sure that your resume, Linkedin profile and cover letters are all in order and ready to go — so that when you find your dream job, you can act quickly. Check out this cool resume-building tool — it’s sure to help you stand out from the crowd.

Second, think outside the box. Don’t limit yourself to thinking that you have to work in publishing, even if that was your original dream. Think big. Think crazy.