Dear Ellen,
I’m one of the lucky ones. I’ve got a job and it pays the bills. I’m grateful for that.
(Well, mostly.)
It’s an OK job, but not a great one. Honestly? If I could afford to quit tomorrow, I would.
I really want to start applying for a better job — one that’s really challenging, and feels meaningful and important. But my current job is so demanding that by the end of the day, all I want to do is whip up a quick dinner, zone out with a TV show and fall asleep.
It feels like “hunting for a job” is another “full-time job” — and I just don’t know how to create the time + energy to do it.
But, I know I’ve got to do something … because I’m feeling so trapped, and I don’t want to spend another year just “treading water” in my current position.
Do you have any advice on how to find a great job — when it feels like there isn’t any time in the day to do it?
Signed,
Exhausted Just Thinking About It
Dear EJTAI,
You are caught in a situation that so many twenty- and thirty-somethings face…and it’s so easy to get into this predicament.
You get out of school and apply for a bunch of jobs that sound perfect for you.
You get hired, start working and quickly realize that your “dream job” is nothing like you hoped it would be. The days are long. You feel bored. You are not being asked to do things that even remotely resemble your passions or skills. Or maybe, you have simply evolved and your interests are different than they once were.
The bottom line is, you are ready for a change. But as you point out, it’s hard to find the time (or energy) to make a big change, when your current job is so draining.
The first thing to remember is that there is no shame in wanting to change course. I have changed careers so many times; my resume resembles the old expression “Butcher. Baker. Candlestick Maker.” OK, I haven’t really tried candlestick making…yet! But you get my point.
The second thing to remember is that changing your job or career is absolutely possible, but it is NOT easy. If it were easy, there wouldn’t be millions of people stuck in jobs they don’t want!
You mentioned that hunting for a new job (while working at your current job) feels like having two full-time jobs. And guess what? You’re right. You are going to have to wake up early, go to bed late and temporarily stop doing the things you love to do in your free time (you can save those Scandal episodes for a once-
in-a-while treat!). But this doubling-up period won’t last forever, and the payoff will be sweet. I guarantee: you will look back at this time and be happy that you made the sacrifices you needed to make.
The third thing to remember – and this is the most important piece of all – is that job hunting is an opportunity for deep self-reflection. This isn’t the time to snap up the next halfway-decent position that comes your way, just to get out of the job that you hate. Invest some time in defining your “best-case scenario” life.
The life that you really, truly want. The ideal arrangement that you’re striving for.
Got no clue what your “ideal life” looks like?
Pam Slim, author of the bestselling book Escape from Cubicle Nation, suggests starting by making a list of where you want to live, if you want to work from home or in an office, your ideal work / life balance, the amount of money you want to make, and so on. Just practical, grounded desires. The more specific you can be, the better.
Motivational speaker, entrepreneur and blogger Danielle LaPorte, takes a less linear approach. She suggests that you focus on your Core Desired Feelings — the feelings you want to have, every day — and let those CDFs inform how you plan your career. Do you want to feel free? Creative? Abundant? Passionate? Engaged? Helpful? Independent? Collaborative? Affluent? Generous? Make a list of your CDFs and then ask yourself, “What kind of job or career will allow me to feel…the way I want to feel?”
Once you know what you are aiming for — the practical pieces + the feelings you want — getting up an hour or two earlier in the mornings or working late into the night won’t feel as onerous, because you’ll know you are working towards something you truly desire.
After that? You just need to get organized and start putting in the legwork. Update your resume. Sharpen your LinkedIn profile. Make a list of people you want to connect with and fill your calendar with lunch dates. Start attending classes part-time, if you need to build up new skills. Do everything you can to keep moving forward.
Got an interview for a new job? Great! But be careful about how you navigate things with your current employer. Career blogger Penelope Trunk has a specific list of do’s and dont’s for people who are looking for new work, while still employed at another job. To paraphrase her list: DO make sure to schedule interviews before or after work and be honest with prospective employers. DON’T do phone interviews at work or mention your job search on social media. While these etiquette pointers may seem obvious, it’s important to think about all the little details to avoid insulting your current employer, losing their trust…or getting fired!
And one day…even if you haven’t lined up another job yet, you may find that you just can’t take one more minute at your old job and you have to leave, or you’ll lose your mind. Before that breaking point arrives, be sure to have some money saved and be ready to make some sacrifices. You may choose to moveback in with your parents, temporarily. You may pick up money doing part time gigs — like babysitting, dog walking, tutoring — whatever pays the bills. You may eat ramen for dinner for very a long time. Do whatever it takes. If you stay committed to finding meaningful work and keep a positive attitude, it will all be worth it.
Have faith, EJTAI, and remember that changing the course of your career is possible, no matter what your present circumstances may be. As author Rebecca Solnit writes, “The stars are given. The constellations we make.”
I can’t wait to see what YOU make, with the stars you’ve been given.
I just know it will be amazing.
Yours,
Ellen
Image: Willie Franklin.