Dear Ellen,
I recently applied for a job I really wanted. I got pretty far along in the interview process and it seemed like they liked me and wanted to hire me.
I was starting to get really excited. Then, after weeks of waiting, they emailed to tell me that I hadn’t been selected.
They were very professional and polite, of course, but I still feel so upset. I know I should just “get over it” and apply for something else, but I don’t feel like I can handle the disappointment all over again.
Any wise words of advice to help me get back in the saddle, so to speak?
Majorly Unmotivated
Dear Majorly Unmotivated,
We’ve all been there: slogging through a terrible, no-good day. (Or week. Or year.)
Maybe you awkwardly fumbled through an interview for your dream job.
Maybe you froze up in the middle of a presentation — scrambling for your notes, sweating bullets, silently cursing Power Point.
Or maybe you did everything “right” — you gave one hundred percent, your absolute best — but you still didn’t get chosen for the opportunity you wanted.
It’s rough. I know.
But guess what? If you feel like a “failure,” you’re in very good company.
Just think about JK Rowling, who received 12 rejections before one publisher said “Yes!” to Harry Potter.
Or Oprah, who got fired from one of her first TV news anchor positions for being “too emotionally involved in the stories.”
Or Thomas Edison, who made one thousand faulty light bulb prototypes before he finally got it right.
No doubt about it: I’ve had my share of failure and rejection, too.
In fact, there’s one particularly terrible, no-good day that will be forever burned into my mind — from back when I was the Director of a non-profit called MEarth, a terrible, no-good day that changed my life, for the better.
And here’s how it happened:
At MEarth, my team had a big dream — to create a community garden and educational center for children — but we had several obstacles in our path.
Our biggest hurdle? We needed the local School Board’s approval before we could move forward. And they were not easy to impress.
We worked hard to prepare our presentation — and we thought we had our ducks in a row.
But once we walked into that School Board meeting, it became obvious that there had been a major miscommunication between the Superintendent and the Board. They’d been given the wrong information about our project — and after a frustrating hour-long debate, we walked away empty-handed.
The next morning, my team and I sat around our conference table, sadly bemoaning what could have been.
As the project leader, I felt more wounded and humiliated than anyone. But I was unwilling to let our dream just fizzle away after one disappointment.
I told the group, “We’re going back in. We’re not taking no for an answer.”
Everyone knew our chances were slim. We were going to present the same idea to the same group of people — who had already firmly rejected it.
But we knew that our project was important — that it would help hundreds of children, every year. And we also knew that a story — told the right way — could change everything.
We went back in. We re-told our story to the Board, took responsibility for the past confusion, showed them our passion and won the day!
It was a major turning point for our scrappy little organization and a major life lesson for me.
I realized that there’s only one way to bounce back after a terrible, no-good day.
It takes courage, but it’s not complicated:
You simply decide to go back in.
Don’t let a small bump in the road — or even a thousand bumps in the road — derail you from your dream.
When you feel humiliated, depressed or just plain defeated, remember what you’re fighting for. Remember who you are.
Remember, too, that rejection is just part of the process of being alive, building a career, putting yourself out there, or doing anything worthwhile. It may sting temporarily but the pain will always subside as long as you keep moving forward. The only thing that will really hurt you, permanently, is giving up on your dream.
You can do this.
Saddle up.
Go back in.
Find great work. Do great work. Unlock every door in your way.
Image: Willie Franklin